Pride is for Everyone

As an autistic American, I felt that it was very important during the Pride month celebration to also discuss one of the theme songs of My people ; autism pride and kink. June 18 is Autistic Pride day. While society often belittles or dismisses neurodivergent sexuality or type cast autistic individuals as  asexual, this is only part of the story.  It is true statistically speaking that autistic individuals are more likely to engage in  asexuality/nonromantic relationships, but this is one flavor of the rainbow that some autistic individuals ascribe to;  it is not representative of all of us. In fact, autistic folks are a rather diverse, kinky, colorful lot; quite the opposite of the stereo type of the introverted shut in playing with their trains and obsessing over Star Trek. Seriously, no judgement here about that; My special interests are just as quirky and I adore Star Trek. I’ve been seriously considering getting the popular t-shirt that says “Feel free to ask me about my special interests.”  Or perhaps the one that says “I love submissive guys.” I wonder what interesting conversations *that* might spark up *giggle*.

Autism & Correlation of Kink

There are actually quite a few research studies that corroborate this correlation. I got the following interesting statistics from www.neurodivergentinsights.com

• Based on the global population, Warrier et al.2021 estimate somewhere between 3-9% of transgender and gender-diverse adults may be autistic. To learn more specifically about GenderDiversity and Autism see my infographic about it here.

Non-Traditional Relationship Structure

• Emerging research suggests Autists are less likely to engage in traditional relationship structures. They are more likely to be poly, practice consensual non-monogamy and kink (Gratton, 2019; Schöttle et. al., 2017).

ACE/ARO

• Autists are more likely to be asexual and/or aromantic (Attanasio et al., 2021; George and Stokes, 2018)
  

  Atypical Sensation Seekers

  One thing I find really fascinating is how diverse kink can be within the autistic spectrum. Some autists are sensation seekers and really enjoy heavy/hard interaction and impact play. While others can barely stand any sounds, touch of a tauze or a tag on their t shirts. I have submissive males that are neurodivergent and am always delighted to discover another avenue of kinky fun with them. One of My favorites loves when I’m a brutal humliatrix with him. He told Me when I denigrate and humiliate him it is literally like I cast a spell on his analytical brain and put him in instantaneous lala land. What a compliment! I try to give My neurodivergent subs a safe place where they can unmask and not have to worry about allistic norms and can let go. It cannot be overstated what a burden it is for autistic people to have to constantly mask all the time in the name of “fitting in”. Not all autists are a Sheldon Cooper or a Temperance Brennan and even with our masks on we don’t fit in. I’ve come to accept this reality and revel in what makes Me unique. As the popular trope says why fit in when you were born to stand out— allistic norms often seem mematic, often wholly illogical and uninteresting to autistic people….including their cookie cutter brand of sexuality.

  Naughty Neurotype

  Being  kinky has been stigmatized for centuries from the esoteric rites of Bacchus to the depths of  BDSM dungeons throughout the world. As society is going through its growing pains of establishing equality and inclusivity, these paradigms are changing slowly but surely. Many autistic neuro divergent individuals are getting in touch with who they are and what they want and taking off their allistic masks so they can find like minded individuals to connect with. If any of you reading this are autistic and kinky, I want you to know that you have a safe space with Me to explore your kinks and unmask. I’m looking forward to exploring them and hearing from you!